Fading away. Forever.

I’ve been feeling so very lost recently. So much has been happening around me but very little has been moving forward for in my life and I feel like I’m in limbo.

I’m becoming so very tired of feeling like this all of the time. It’s like I’m being eaten alive from the inside out by some unknown entity that’s determined to complete destroy me. Or perhaps it’s just what my own ‘self district’ looks like. That’s probably more likely what it is.

It’s increasingly difficult to pretend that I’m okay when I’m actually not. The fake smile is starting to slip and I don’t know how much longer I can physically hold it in place. Day by day another part of the ‘old me’ disappears and the new unrecognisable person appears to be me.

I can’t actually remember a time when I felt okay. My memories of good times are fading and it takes so much effort to even conjure one up that it seems pointless even trying anymore. It literally feels like there’s no point to any of it anymore. Maybe it will be easier just to stop fighting and let go of it all, just forgot completely?

I’m running low on hope and energy and I just don’t know what to do any more. I feel I’m fading away.