I feel like getting drunk

So I’d love to get absolutely smashed tonight. It’s not often that I feel this way as living in a pub has made me drink less. I see far too many people making complete idiots of themselves after a few pints and I sure as hell don’t want to engage in that type of behaviour.

The main issue I have is I know if I do get drunk I’ll end up doing something stupid. No doubt I’ll end up cutting myself as I usually do when I’m drunk and because my inhibitions go, the worse I’ll end up cutting. Then when I wake in the morning I’ll be totally disgusted with myself for cutting and then I’ll start feeling even more depressed than I am at the moment. It’s a horrible pattern that emerges every time I drink. I don’t like who I am at the best of time, so if alcohol is added into the equation I end up not even being able to look in the mirror at myself. 

When I write it all down like this, you’d think the decision to drink or not to drink would be an easy decision. I should not drink….but I want to. I’ll give it a few hours to see if the urge goes. Fingers crossed it.


Author: tearsandfears83

Hello there, I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my blog. I just like to start by mentioning that I am dyslexic so please be prepared for the typos as I'm sure there will be many. Anyway moving on, this is the first time that I have done anything like a blog online as I usually write my thoughts and feelings down on paper....but thought I should get up to date with the times! I have a degree in psychology and have completed my MEd in Counselling in Education. All of the work that I have done for my current degree is based on self-harm in one way or another! I have quite a lot of first hand experience with mental health issues as I've battled with them on and off for a number of years now. I feel that I'm at the stage in my life where I can finally help other people that have experienced similar experiences to me. I know that this sounds cheesy, but I really want to help people to overcome issue that they face as I feel that everything that I've been through will have been worth it. I still struggle at times with my own mental health issues and often need to let my feelings. In previous times I would have used self-harm to help me though, but I'm now able to direct my emotions in other ways such as drawing, writing poetry and through music. I'm unsure if anyone other than myself will read anything I write and that's okay. I understand that I can't change the world with what I write, but maybe I'll be able to bring people a little comfort in knowing that if I can get through very low points in my life, then they can too!

9 thoughts on “I feel like getting drunk”

  1. I agree, it definitely seems clear to an outsider what to do, just hide the drink, forget about it, distract. But when your in the moment I think it’s very easy to just pick up that bottle, can or bag and drain it! Iv’e definitely been there, stay strong!

    Liked by 1 person

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