Well it’s 6:50 am and I’ve had around and hours sleep tonight. I’m beginning to get more and more frustrated at the fact I’m not sleeping very well. It’s like a vicious circle, I struggle getting to sleep, I sleep for an hour or so, I wake up, then stay awake for hours and then I can’t get back to sleep even though I feel absolutely exhausted. I’m pretty sure I sleep more when it’s light than I do when it’s dark.
I’m trying to work out exactly what it is that’s preventing me from staying asleep. Obviously my foot is playing a big part in keeping me awake as if I change sleeping position I end up getting a sharp pain which is agony. But I’m pretty good at staying still whilst I’m asleep. It could be the fact that I’ve been having bad dreams which keep repeating, it’s the same dream all the time. I don’t even think Mr Freud would know where to start analysing it so I think it’s best I avoid going into that. I know that when I’ve been depressed in the past I’ve had issues sleeping but I’m on a ridiculously high dose of painkillers which, in theory should knock me out. So why is it I’m still awake?! I know getting frustrated and winding myself up is only going to prevent me sleeping even more, but I can’t help it.
The more exhausted I’m getting, the more frustrated and unhappy I’m becoming. I’d just like one night where I sleep all the way through and wake up feeling refreshed. Is that really too much to ask?!